Research by the Gottman Institute shows that the first three minutes of a conflict conversation predict the outcome 96% of the time (Gottman & Silver, 2015). A harsh startup, characterized by criticism, blame, or contempt, almost always escalates tension. A soft startup, by contrast, raises a concern calmly, uses 'I' language, and makes a respectful request. Practicing this skill transforms how couples navigate disagreements and builds lasting relational trust.